Putting the Coal in Coalition

Pretty soon, I plan on getting bored with reposting news bites from The Chronicle of Philanthropy, I swear. Until then, here's another beaut from late November:

New Head of Christian Coalition Resigns

Citing a conflict over the future direction of the organization, the Christian Coalition's president-elect has resigned from his position, reports National Public Radio.

The Rev. Joel Hunter, senior pastor of a large church in Orlando, Fla., said he had wanted to focus on issues like poverty and the environment as a way to expand the organization's agenda beyond opposition to abortion and gay marriage. But he said he now believes the group is unwilling to move in that direction.

"At first it seemed like they were open to that," Mr. Hunter told NPR's All Things Considered. "But when it came down to it, they just couldn't quite go there. The phrase that was used was, 'Those are fine issues, but it's just not us, that's not our base.'"

Neither Christian Coalition board members nor other officials commented in the story.

Really? No comment, fellas? Here's one you might want to start getting used to then: "I never knew you."


I'm suddenly very interested in reading Hunter's book, Right Wing, Wrong Bird. Maybe Santa will have an elf POD one for me.

Breath of Fresh Air

Philanthropy Today continues to be far more interesting than other news outlets in my life such as Google News, NPR, or co-workers:

British Charity Takes New Approach to Stemming Pollution

A British charity trust has announced plans to buy carbon-emission credits and sit on them, hoping that the law of supply and demand will make it prohibitively expensive for companies to pollute, reports Edie News.

Pure, the trust, will purchase credits in the "carbon market," where companies trade "shares" that determine how much carbon dioxide they may legally emit. Each company is allotted so many shares and can sell them or buy more from other companies, depending on whether it pollutes more or less than its allotment.

But Pure says it will refuse to sell its shares, reducing the overall supply. In theory, that will increase the demand for, and price of, the remaining shares.

"It might be financially better for companies to reduce emissions than to buy credits. And that's what we're aiming to do," said a trustee of Pure.

This is hilarious and devious and perhaps good for humanity ALL AT ONCE.

It's not new for polluter companies to treat carbon credits as some crazy alternate currency -- it's as if dollar bills were carcinogenic, and corporate entities traded the amount of killing you they were allowed to do. Some get to kill you more, but only if others trade away or sell their ability to kill you. Of course, at any time a company can buy some Temporary Killing Dollars by paying real dollars to whatever government watchdog might or might not be looking.

It's safer, see? It protects you, the consumer.

And by "consumer" I mean "goods and services purchaser," not "air consumer." Because if you consume air, it doesn't protect you really all that well.

Anyway, the hilarious new twist is the wacky-neighbor nonprofit getting in on the action. This tactic looks more gimmicky than effective, since businesses will probably find it more economical to convince legislators to fabricate new credits rather than reduce emissions, rendering the jiggered scarcity for naught.

In the meantime though, Pure made some noise relevant to their mission, and took some Killing Dollars out of the economy for a while, at least. (I guess they're technically Killing Pounds.)

The Best Policy

I always feel uncomfortable when someone starts a sentence with "Let me be honest with you..."

Because, were you lying before now?

Strange Maps

Strange maps is a cool blog-thing and the title is self-explanatory so I won't explanator it.

Of particular interest:

• the map of the Planet Mongo
• a Maine map placing Stephen King's fictional locales

Also, other maps of general interest.

Mice Get All The Cool Stuff

These days, every couple of months some lab coat issues a press release about how his or her team has used stem cells to replace livers or arms or something. This month, it's eyes. OMG I would totally marry stem cells if I wasn't already engaged.

The other day I was thinking about the maladies that accompany mortality, and I felt pretty capable of learning to accept cancer, diabetes, high blood pressure, etc. But I get a case of the heebie-jeebies thinking that some day I could go blind.

So I'm glad they're developing the technology for seeing-eye mice when my vitreous humor dries up in about 20 years.

The Sound of One Mind Boggling

Political uncertainty seems to have returned to us the Bush of old, the Bush who ate feet in front of the press. From the Washington Post, commenting on the electorate's apparent view of his view of Iraq:

"Somehow it seeped in their conscious [sic] that my attitude was just simply 'stay the course,'" he complained.

Where did we get that ide--? Oh, I remember. When you said it over and over and over and over and over and over. That's how it got in my conscious.

Electorate Hector

I was going to say something about how, despite all the "throw the bums out" rhetoric we've been subjected to this election season, we still basically voted in Kodos over Kang.

But you know, Rumsfeld getting the boot, that's almost kind of serious. I mean, it's still politics. The Bush administration sacrificed a big piece to show their seriousness, but at this point in the game, Rumsfeld is thoroughly expendable. Enjoy defense consultation, Rummy!

Still, that sacrifice is a real signal that the Bush admin plans to play ball in its remaining two years lest their many sins haunt them sooner rather than later.

Of course, your life won't be any different. See the Onion article for the truth of the matter.

Good Neighbors

This fence thing, wow. Is it stupid in here, or is it just me? I mean, I'm basically okay with pork bills, as long as they're non-egregiously idiotic.

But gee, 700 miles of fence... I hope nobody in Mexico has a ladder or anything. Or bolt cutters. Or crosses somewhere along the 1300 miles NOT covered by a fence. Or maybe comes into the country on a legitimate visitor's visa and then doesn't go home.

WHOOPS I'M GIVING AWAY ALL THE SECRETS.

Luckily it won't ever get built because they built in some extra stupid by not funding it and running it across a reservation. Whew.

Oh wait, that means both the legislative and executive branches of my federal government have wasted gobs of time on a boondoggle, perhaps as an attempt to distract voters from genuine issues. That's not lucky at all. That's um... whaddyacallit... horribly dispiriting.

I Miss My Girlfriend

Today I was talking about the word "fiancee" and how precious it sounds. Never trust a polysyllabic word with more vowels than consonants. Samuel Johnson once knifed a Hawaiian king for that, calling him "bruitish and uncivillized." (I read that on Wikipedia.)

"Fiancee" is dangerously easy to overuse. You don't sound like you're trying to prove anything if you talk about your girlfriend or your wife over and over. But no one is a fiancee for very long, so there are special connotations with the word. It's a reinforcement of how married you're about to be. If you say fiancee three times in one conversation, it's like you're saying, "I'm getting MARRIED soon. Because my fiancee and I are getting MARRIED soon. Did I mention I have a fiancee? Who is someone you get MARRIED to? Soon?"

Other problems:

• If you say it a bunch of times and get lazy about the word, it starts to rhyme with "Chauncey."
• When I type fast and misspell it, the word becomes "financee." Evil feminists are troublesome enough without easy puns to make their lives simpler. Like I'm just floating this chick until we get married, and then she pays interest for the rest of her life.
  
• The masculine version of the word, "fiance," is useless. Either make it look and sound masculine*, or make the word completely unisex. This missing "e" thing is too foo-foo. Freaking French.

*I suggest "Brawnmonster."

Hey, did I tell you?

Did you know I'm getting married?

Did I tell you yet?

Did -- yes... no, you didn't know because of the look on your face. I meant to tell you! I thought I told you. Sorry. I totally thought I told you by now.

Yeah, I know. It's sort of a surprise for us too, yeah, pretty fast. It feels really good though. I've never been happier for me.

No, well, you've probably seen her post a lot. Yeah. She posts a lot in the comments. I know, her blog is nearly dead. She never posts there any more. I asked her about it, but I think it's one of those things. Some people just blog for a while and then quit. I don't know. This is like, my third attempt at keeping a blog, so maybe you just have to try a few times before it sticks. I know, it's not like I post all the time either.

Well, thanks. It's... yeah. She's really great. She's everything I ever thought to look for, and some things I didn't know I could look for. She's great. I think it will be great.

Of course you're invited! Of course! We want your gift! No, I'm kidding. (I'm not really kidding.) JK! We're getting married in Dallas, in April, so that's kind of soon, and kind of far away from you, I know. Of course it'll be totally cool if you can't make it. I'd love for you to meet her, but I understand. No, but... we'd love to have you is what I'm saying.

Thanks. Yeah, thanks. It's great. Well, I'm happy for you too. I know, It's about time.

Hey, let's catch up some time. Next week maybe? Are you free next week? Okay, well soon then. See you next post!