Yuletide Existentialism

I've just finished the checklist, and now I'm certain that we have every physical object we need in this household. Everything necessary for a full and healthy life is contained in this building. We also have many of the things we want and enjoy on top of that.

Now what?

If I can't answer that question, what was I collecting shit for in the first place? Why have a thing if you have no purpose for the thing?

Why does everyone else roll their eyes when I start talking like this? Am I missing something obvious? I'm willing to be the dumbass if someone will just explain it to me slowly.

I don't want to go all Charlie Brown Christmas Special here, but if it's about Jesus, then where the fuck is Jesus? I didn't see a lot of him on December 25. I saw a bunch of people open boxes of crap they didn't need or even want all that badly and act delighted about it. And I participated. And I felt dirty about it.

I'm a pretty miserable Jesus follower. But it's funny that I seldom feel like a miserable Jesus follower when I really am being miserable at it.

I'm done with this mealy-mouthed Christmas shit. I always feel a little sick and disconnected going into Christmas, and I'm not doing that any more. I'm not going to play along next year. I don't know what I'm going to do, and I hope I don't alienate my wife in the process, but I don't have the stomach for make-nice any more.