Tough Customer

I was taking pictures of various items I no longer wish to own* and transferring them to my computer.

Looking through the dozens of pictures sleeping in their electronic cocoon, I found this picture of our corgi, Dylan.

I am not, typically, a post-pictures-of-pets type of blogger. But what the hell. It's a good picture.


*If you would like to own some of my items, I am selling them on eBay.

Iraq Problem: SOLVED

The other day I figured out our Iraq withdrawal strategy. We just let our newly-democratic friends in Iraq vote on it.

What an excellent show of faith in their ability to self-govern!

If they vote to run independently, then we make some historic speeches and begin leaving things in their competent hands. Call us if you need anything!

If they vote to keep the U.S. army around, then we encourage them to step up their own financial and human support. Since they've ASKED us to stay now, clearly they're ready to be better hosts. Perhaps they'd like to invite some European countries to join the party as well?

In either case, the U.S. saves face, the Iraqi democracy gets to flex some muscle, and we throw less into this ruinous money hole. Everybody wins!

Mr. President, I believe the NSA has my number. You know how to reach me.

Recognizing the Whiteboard

If you are not my wife, then perhaps you have been spared my Hubris-of-Scientists tirade. Let's fix that.

I enjoy science, but practitioners of science tend to love the certainty that mathematics can bring, and then love of certainty begins to occlude impartial judgment, and next stop is ridicule for not agreeing with everything that leaves their mouths, and hey, no thanks.

An unnerving number of scientists act as though what we know about science is carved in stone, and they are the various Moseses bringing it off the mount. The loudest priests of this religion would deny the metaphor, but that fitting shoe calls the kettle black and now they have to lie in it.

The reality is that science is written on a whiteboard, ready to be erased, revised, rewritten as soon as better data show up. At best, you can circle part of it and mark it DNE, but really, if someone else needs that space, they're gonna take it out.

I find this ignorant certainty especially galling in astronomy, where they make shit up on a regular basis, but seem to forget that many of their hypotheses are best guesses. (And frankly, not even I want to get started on anthropology and paleontology, so I won't.)

Which is the point of this American Scientist article, Modern Cosmology: Science or Folktale. I'd recommend you read the whole thing, but the chances of you being as interested in this as I am are comically small. So here's the summary, taken from the article:

...modern cosmology has at best very flimsy observational support.

I'm just glad somebody's saying it is all.

Gender Blender

Started work on another monster tonight, and I felt really girly sitting on the couch sewing. But then I also noted that I was watching Tony Jaa smash the living crap out of some mook in Ong-Bak, which was totally, like, DUDE.

I've Created a Monster

Most of yesterday evening involved putting together this little dude by hand. I have named him Ulorg. Behold Ulorg!


I've been interested in plush lil' monsters for a while. A few months ago I got a bag of fleece scraps from a friend, and now I'm starting to play with it.

Meanwhile, Dylan, our Welsh Corgi, leaves a grisly trail of fluff as he maims his toys. Sometimes I re-stuff it for 5 more minutes of dog fun. Or just throw it away.

But I hate throwing things away when I think I could USE them. So like a Doctor Frankenstein hellbent on homemade kawaii, I inserted spare fluff into Ulorg here.

I'm happy enough with how he looks, but he's definitely a starter monster. I know what I'll do differently next time.

Ideally I'd like to get some identifiable, standard monster shapes and styles together and sell them on Etsy. We'll see.

Lessons learned:

• I used hot glue to put the face on. If I do that again, I'll do it after I stuff the thing.
• I'll make it bigger next time. He's 4" tall. It's hard to get the details I want at this size.
• Subtlety isn't as cool as large strokes. If I'm going for an effect, make it big and weird.
• I have a lot to learn about sewing -- e.g., different stitches, how to achieve points vs. curves, how to knot the thread so it doesn't slip off the needle.
  
• I read somewhere to leave the last bit that you sew inside an indention... an armpit or something, to help cover your finishing strokes. I left Ulorg's crotch open. The reverse enema was cognitively ooky.
  
• Finishing well is difficult.

If I make any more, I'll post pictures, maybe offer them for sale to the half dozen people who read this blog.