Turn-Offs, Part 1

Girls who say "can't" when they mean "won't."

I Totally Skipped Church Tonight

I got an enormous box of books from Amazon for Christmas courtesy of my generous mother. One of the books is Life of the Beloved by Henry Nouwen, subtitled, "Spiritual Living in a Secular World."

When Xians talk about sacred versus secular, I always sort of quietly root for secular. Sacred seems pretty well covered.

I've at very least wanted to be a Christian for most of my life. But I've never felt a part of most Christians I've known. I feel more kin to nonbelievers, because what I believe is hard for me to believe. I believe Jesus is the son of God, and he saves me from meaninglessness and separation from God. But I can totally see why people wouldn't believe. Seems like plenty of reasons not to, or at least to hang back and see what happens.

My brother recently asked me why I was still a Christian. He's not. He doesn't get why I am. The answer is because I believe. I know that's a circular, nonrational answer. I know it doesn't explain anything to you if you don't believe. I'm not satisfied with it either. But it's the answer.

===

In college, I had been reading Franky Schaeffer books, notably Sham Pearls for Real Swine, and was struck by his idea that Christians needed to be out in the middle of media instead of hand wringing over its worldliness. I had been fiddling with the idea of being some sort of minister, but after reading that, I realized that we've got plenty of people who sit in church buildings and mouth pleasant words all day. I wanted to go be a guy with a job and a guy who also loves Jesus at that job.

Fitfully, I have followed that call since. I'm not really good at it. But I wonder why this isn't SOP among American Christians. Why do we have to have so many ministers and our own little music industry and our own special crappy TV shows and networks?

When I wrote that, I meant it as a rhetorical question. But now I don't know the answer.

Once I was out there in that Secular World, I discovered that nonbelievers were great people and I liked being around them. So I'm very interested in a book that talks about spiritual living in a secular world. Because man, sign me up for secularity, and for spiritual living in it, yo.

My South

Found this idea on another blog, Loriloo. She describes My South.

My personal South is mainly a childhood thing. My grade school pal, Paul Huffington, used to live on an honest-to-murgatroid farm. During high school the Huffingtons sold it, and the new owners turned the land into a couple dozen condos. Much of My South appears pre-condos.

However, I also went to college in Birmingham, Alabama, so I know there's still plenty South up for grabs.

My South involves:

• Cutting through other people’s back yards when you walk somewhere, and sometimes the people who own those yards stop you just to talk.
• Getting into a short conversation with the person behind the counter at the fast food joint.
• A constant, seductive mix of graciousness and passive-aggression.
• Talking about church and not feeling everyone in the room shift one millimeter away.
• A basic assumption that the weather will be nice.
• Allergies.
• Relaxing a little because people tend to take it easy on you.
• When you step on other peoples’ feet, they apologize too.
• Beat-up cars in people’s yards.
• Occasionally deciding to use simpler words.
• Great barbecue.
• Long drives through grassy land.
• Riding in the back of the pick-up because it’s fun, and no one wastes air telling you how unsafe that is.
• Lovely women everywhere, especially at college. Not plastic-surgery pretty like in California. Just lovely.
  
• People who know local history. Like, seriously. It’s important.
• Looking strangers in the eye and smiling at each other.
  

Dangerous Several Decades Ago

I said to my friend, Jon, a couple weeks ago that D&D is a great way to love people. I wound up repeating that line to other people, and now that I’ve heard myself say it out loud a few times, I’m absolutely sure of it.

I don’t know how D&D ever got a bad rap, because getting a bunch of teenagers to sit in the house stone cold sober and talk on a Saturday night is just about every parent’s impossible dream.

We’re not teenagers, but that’s totally what we did last Saturday. My Sunless Citadel game is so popular, at last count, 11 people wanted to play. We had seven on Saturday, and everyone had a good time, even though Borag the half-orc barbarian died a horrible, icy death. Oh, sweet Borag.

Apparently, like comic books, I'm attracted to anything that was irrationally considered dangerous several decades ago.

Straight-up proselytization via D&D is out. But, you know, good riddance. Instead, Jesus-worshippers get an opportunity to hang out with non-Jesus-worshippers and deal with all sorts of moral and ethical situations from this fantastic angle, with zero "witnessing" heebie-jeebies.

No one has to say "Jesus." It would be embarrassingly redundant. He's obviously there in the way his followers act and interact. And since the whole game is about interaction, there's plenty of opportunity for him to show up.

Look, this isn't Narnia. There's no Christian "theme" to the game any more than there is in real life.* There's just you and me making choices and loving our neighbors. And killing monsters and taking their stuff.


*Of course, real life is entirely Christian themed, but that forest is so very big, it's understandable that you'd see only trees.

Movies 2005, Part 5 of 5

Here's the last of the flick list. Me = indiscriminate spoiler:

Lost, season 1
I watched damn near the whole thing in a weekend. It was worth it. I don’t think watching future episodes in chunks will be acceptable after this.

The Royal Tenenbaums
This is probably the fifth time I’ve watched this movie, and it’s still got charm, but the honeymoon is over. Assuming my future wife is tall and slender though, she is welcome to slink around in those weird polo dresses that Gwyneth Paltrow’s character wears all the time. Not that short, stocky future wives would not also be welcome to wear them, but the horizontal stripes wouldn’t flatter, I imagine.

The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou
Hmmm. Hm.

Freaks & Geeks
I haven’t watched all of these, but I watched several episodes with B&J, and man, this show kicks everything’s butt. It is so good. I want to watch it more some time.

Smallville
I’ve watched a handful of season 4 episodes when Brian had them on. This show sux. But I still like looking at Kristin Kreuk.

Mirrormask
This was Dream Country: The Movie. But it was okay, for what it was.

When Harry Met Sally
Watched it twice, without and then with commentary, and boy, does Rob Reiner not have much to say about this movie. Still, it was good for BGCD research, which was why I watched it. Also, still a funny, charming movie.

Constantine
This movie had a couple of good moments, and Djimon Hounsou. But it also had dumb parts. They weren’t flamingly dumb, but just characters making poorly explained choices and the loss of a minor character for most of the movie with no explanation. “Shia LeBouf, your death scene is ready.” And some other dumb stuff. But the climax was clever.

Battlefield Baseball
A low-budget Japanese spoof/action movie with a couple of funny parts. It was clearly just done by a guy and his friends.

Ong-Bak
Good news!

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Because the new movie’s coming out and you have to review the literature.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Good enough.

House of Flying Daggers
I watched this again, sort of, except for the parts where I fell asleep because I was tired.

Versus
Brian informed me after the fact that I was supposed to think this was funny. I’m conflicted whether that’s an oops.

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe
Did I like it? Yes. But I didn’t love it. Tilda Swinton was the best thing about it. (No offense, Jesus.)

Strings
A Danish movie starring marionnettes. You probably already know whether you’re interested in seeing this movie right now. But let me also tell you that it’s slow like a Germantown pedestrian.

Movies 2005, Part 4 of 5

Batman Begins
I guess... you know, don’t tell anybody, but I didn’t really like this movie so much. It was okay. Okay enough.

Fong Sai Yuk
Jet Li and a lot of silly kung fu, including two kung fu moms. It’s partly because I’m about to break up with my girlfriend and a goofball kung fu movie is the exact opposite of the heaviness that I feel right now, but I love this movie. It’s one of my favorite movies I’ve seen this month, possibly this year.

The Island
That had license to suck more than it did, but I hate praising a movie because it defied rock bottom expectations. Scarlet Johannsen is pretty to look at in that movie-made-up-no- human-woman-looks-like-this way. It was a grab bag of dystopian rip-offs. The product placement was obtuse. I’m not even an evil genius and I can plan a more secure containment facility. But, you know, I stayed with it, and didn’t get distracted much. Plus, Djimon Hounsou played unexpected dignity in a movie where he didn’t have to act.

Broken Flowers
Just fine!

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Pretty fun. Not a super-dee-dooper movie, but fun enough. Johnny Depp brought a little depth to the part, which was nice.

Murderball
Everybody said this was great, but I’m gonna be the dissenter. It was okay. It dragged in places.

Elektra
Man, that stank.

Enter the Dragon
Had never seen this before. It was actually pretty good. I was sort of confused about the martial arts aspect of it. Three people to fight in a tournament? Well, the tournament was just a front, but still… you’re not even trying to make it look like a real tournament if you only invite three people. And if it’s such a secret, why are you even bothering with the tournament charade? Clearly some holes. But I stayed interested, and there was some great action -– and not just the martial arts. Bruce Lee sneaking around in his black spy gear looked coo-ello.

Shaun of the Dead
Not as ROFLMAO as I had been led to believe, but it had some larfs, a decent flick. The characters stayed believeable. I totally thought Liz was going to kick the farm and Yvonne and Shaun would be together at the end tho.

Serenity
As a pestering-friends-to-watch-the-DVDs Firefly fan, I was all systems go to love this movie. But somehow, I don’t. I don’t dislike it, I just don’t love it. Wash’s death was nakedly contrived. Mal’s turning point was unconvincing. And Book, an otherwise well-portrayed (theoretically) Christian character, died without significantly addressing his faith. Disappointing.

Fog of War
Look, I slept through most of this. I’m counting it anyway.

Edward Scissorhands
Never seen it before. A bit thin. Probably would have liked it more as a teenager.

The Corpse Bride
Just makes me wish it was Nightmare Before Christmas II. I know, I’d rather weigh it on its own merits too. But if I was thinking that way, I’d be handing out demerits instead.

Horse Feathers
Marx Brothers. Not one of the best, but worth the time spent watching.

Alien3
Ugh.

Movies 2005, Part 3 of 5

Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
I give it 3 stars. Well done, lads.

Star Wars: Return of the Sith
Okay, but not great. High praise indeed for one of the new Star Wars movies!

Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
Saw it again with the girlfriend and Jon & Alison. Still pretty good.

GATTACA
Pretty good. I kinda wish Uma Thurman had a part besides Woman To Have Sex With. She’s a decent actor, but she’s not all that hot. And Jude Law incinerating himself was a stupid way to tie up that character. “Should we have him grow? Nah. Let’s have him get serious about suicide. He’s finally brave enough to get his fondest wish!” That’s a dismal, untrue character arc.

But gripes aside, pretty good.

Sin City
I had a good time at this flick. It seemed as if Rosario Dawson really got her part. She was not quite chewing on scenery, but nibbling it, beautifully. The other actors around her didn’t seem to be projecting how larger-than-life, how borderline unreal their story was. She did completely. This movie also effectively prevented me from typecasting Elijah Wood as a hobbit, because he was capital KRE creepy.

Kung Fu Hustle
I would like to see more movies like this every day.

House of Flying Daggers
Wow! I sure didn’t see any of those twists coming even though I guess I could have! I didn’t!

Team America World Police
Heh.

Mad Hot Ballroom
Saw it again with the girlfriend’s parents and sister when they came to visit. It’s still good.

Howl’s Moving Castle
I actually saw this movie twice this year, but I can’t remember when the second one was, so screw the chronological listing. A good movie, but not as good as some of Miyazaki’s others. My friend Paul liked it because it was ambiguous. It’s hard to know whether that ambiguity was intentional, but I like Paul’s generous interpretation, so let’s go with it.

The Crow
I remembered this being a mediocre movie, but on second viewing, it turns out to be quite bad.

X2: X-Men United
Which is a funny title, since they spent most of the movie split up.

City of God
Really very good. Great.

Escape From New York
The premise is fascinating. I remembered it being good from my childhood, but it’s actually not.

Last Life in the Universe
The slowest fucking movie I have ever tried to endure. Not bad, but I wouldn’t watch it again without money or life on the line.

The Untouchables
More boring and lame and Hollywood than I would have predicted.

Movies 2005, Part 2 of 5

This encompasses all of the films I saw at the Philadelphia Film festival.

Survive Style 5+
My eyes! My eyes! (but fun)

Throw Down
I don’t know how you make a movie about judo masters be sort of dull, but they pulled it out of a hat. Would a little more judo in your judo movie have been such a crime? The thing I found refreshing though was that despite all the sweaty close male physical contact in this movie, I never once got a homosexual vibe, which as a subtext is damn near cliche these days. This was just a movie where guys who like judo practiced judo and used judo on each other and they were friends and not see-krit lovers.

Masters of Illusion
More like apprentices. Student animation films, some of which were completely abstract, most of which were boring. And I missed my train so I took a taxi home at midnight. EXPENSIVE MISTAKES ABOUND.

Mad Hot Ballroom
Big fun! Fifth and sixth graders compete in ballroom dancing! Hooray! Hooray for the ballroom dancing!

Cutie Honey
Anime come to life! OMG super!

Arahan
I wanted every movie in the film festival to be like this. Great wuxia martial arts action, comedy, a love interest, post-modern winks. I give it an A.

Stratosphere Girl
Boring and also very not good.

Kontroll
Pretty fun and exciting and amusing, and it seems like it’s got meaning and symbolism and stuff, but it probably doesn’t have so much. But I like the air of it maybe being there.

Found this today at Newsweek:
Rabbi Marc Gellman's Five Most Important Religious Trends of 2005

Of particular interest is number 3:

The energizing of the evangelicals. Although only 7 percent of adults are evangelicals, their voice is the loudest and their energy, charity, Bible study, and prayer life is the greatest. They give away more than three times as much money as other Americans. In the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, it was the evangelical volunteers who came in the greatest numbers and stayed for the longest time. I hope that even people who are suspicious of their motives for America can admire the power of their good works when America needed good works the most. Even if they wanted to evangelize the storm-tossed remnants after giving them food, shelter and clothing—who cares? They were there, and most other religious groups were not there in anything like their numbers or sacrificial kindness. People who cannot appreciate the energy of evangelicals for good after the experience of their posthurricane mobilization have eyes, but they do not see. Most pious people flee from the culture and its needs. Evangelicals are engaging the culture and producing the most constant and cogent critique of cultural crud that we are seeing from any religious group in our time.

Evangelicals get a lot of shit right now for anti-science squabbles, fear of de-Christianization, support of unjustified Executive orders, and general dumb-headedness. And they (i.e., we) deserve it.

But this is the first time lately I've seen the Internet (found this link at Fark of all places) declare that we're more than deep wells of imbecility.

Every time a cheap-thinking nonbeliever tries to bring up some historical failure of Christians as proof that our faith is worthless, I wonder how it is that they never recognize the billions of kindnesses, large and small, that Christians do regularly. Quietly. Relentlessly. They never say, "Okay, you harbor fatheads, but you're also filling a necessary role that I won't/can't do myself."

Admitting that we might have our shit together in some areas would mean that nonbelievers might have to take us seriously in some areas.

The inevitable next step is taking our God seriously. Which is why cheap-thinking critics will never say it. That's the end of the cheap fun, and the beginning of something that requires investment.

Rabbi Gellman is clearly not a critic in the negative sense of the word. After a steady stream of low-grade ridicule though, it's a happy surprise to see someone addressing Evangelicals evenhandedly.

Digression: Newsweek seems to put Jesus/Christian iconography on the cover roughly semi-annually. I wouldn't have guessed off the top of my head that Jesus sold so well, but now that I think about it, it makes sense. You can't play the Jesus card too often, because people assume they know what you're talking about and tune you out. But every so often, a shot of Jesus gets everybody's attention.

There's probably some lesson there or something.

Movies 2005, Part 1 of 5

For the last several years I've kept a running list with mini-reviews of all the movies and/or TV-on-DVD I watched during the year. In addition to a moderately interesting review of personal media history, it's also diary-esque on re-reading.

This year I watched at least 68 movies.* The first 13:

Mean Girls
My first of 2005! Better than I expected, but I expected a turd with short skirts. My girlfriend wanted to watch it because it’s based on the book, Queen Bees and Wannabees. I groaned when it got preachy, but still, happily less vapid than I thought.

I, Robot
More vapid than I thought. A hillbilly of a movie: ugly, violent, stupid.

Hero
Though others disparage, I think this has a rare edge, a movie with subtlety, but not so subtle that I lose my way.

Grosse Point Blank
This movie too, is subtler than the last time I saw it. This is the third time, and I got it more this time than ever before. I don’t think it’s because I necessarily know the bittersweet 10-year reunion feeling. Among other things, I didn’t go to mine.

I think 1) I’m a more sophisticated movie watcher than I used to be, and 2) I’m less bamboozled by the comedy having seen it twice already. But all of John Cusack’s silent behavior and streams of thought, they ring better this time. The movie had a couple of moments I noticed where they didn’t take the stupid road -- showing the audience things that they didn’t need to see, for instance -- but let the movie unfold without clubbing you over the head.

Appleseed (2004)
I liked this movie, but it wasn’t a good movie. Great animation, though.

Magnificent Butcher
Sammo Hung is an oafish butcher... who knows kung-fu! Pretty fun.

Infernal Affairs
All would-be “taut thrillers” can judge their tensile strength against this Hong Kong wonder.

The Woodsman
Really good.

Hitch
This will probably forever be a movie I associate with a Valentine’s Day that turned out poorly. It had two points of interest besides that though. 1) Kevin James is a funny comedian. 2) The movie was a boy-meets-girl, girl-loses-boy, girl-finds-boy again story. A welcome twist!

Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow
Why do so many movies slow down when they get a plot? And if involving a plot is so detrimental, can we just do without it? Can we just not do slow and dumb? I’ll sacrifice plot for a movie that’s well-paced and expects me to be smart.

Maria Full of Grace
I liked this movie, and I didn’t think I would. I kept waiting for something to go wrong, and it never really did. Maria didn’t seem to change much. Maybe that’s part of the grace.

Infernal Affairs
Once again! Saw it at Circle movie night. Better the second time, because I could tell the leads apart better.

Guess Who
What if you threw a comedy and nobody laughed? Ashton Kutcher = not a funny actor.



*I might have watched more but sometimes I forget to write them down, see.