Gut Check

Fiddling with the blog's guts today. Appearance may change suddenly (though not necessarily drastically) in the near future.

Star Power

I am continually amazed by people who can do things that I can't, because Hey, I want to do that!

This applies to just about every human endeavor, but today's specific application is spatial perception. I'm not notoriously bad at it, but I'm not good either.

I found this thing today about how Betsy Ross talked the founding fathers into a 5-pointed star on the flag instead of a 6-pointer like Geo. Washington wanted.

They said, "Five points is too hard."

She was like, "No it isn't." And she folded up a piece of paper and with one cut made a perfect star.

And they were like, "Witch! Don't kill us with your strange geometry magics!"

===

For some people, this stuff is just obvious. Pythagoras started a religion based on it. Me, I have to learn it.

I used to think that there were things I couldn't do. Some things were just unavailable to me. Now I know that's bogus. It's just that some things are too much work.

At the point in life where I'm supposed to begin seeing doors close, to begin realizing that I'll never be an astronaut, I'm excited about what lies ahead. Here's the key, here's my trick. I'm sharing my trick with you that I only just learned in the last couple/three years. I'm putting it in tiny type to preserve the secret:

You have to try hard.

As a smart, talented child, I never had to try very hard. I just aimed my brain at something, and adults fawned. When I became an adult, the accolades stopped, and I was confused. But now I've figured it out again. You have to work at things.

I probably won't care enough to get good at spatial perception? But I can learn from Betsy Ross's know-how, and get better. Middle age is going to kick ass for me.

Funny

Please do hurry and read this excellent article by Steve Martin in February's Smithsonian magazine, Being Funny.

What if there were no punch lines? What if there were no indicators? What if I created tension and never released it? What if I headed for a climax, but all I delivered was an anticlimax? What would the audience do with all that tension? Theoretically, it would have to come out sometime. But if I kept denying them the formality of a punch line, the audience would eventually pick their own place to laugh, essentially out of desperation. This type of laugh seemed stronger to me, as they would be laughing at something they chose, rather than being told exactly when to laugh.

To test my idea, I went onstage and began: "I'd like to open up with sort of a 'funny comedy bit.' This has really been a big one for me...it's the one that put me where I am today. I'm sure most of you will recognize the title when I mention it; it's the "Nose on Microphone" routine [pause for imagined applause]. And it's always funny, no matter how many times you see it."

I leaned in and placed my nose on the mike for a few long seconds. Then I stopped and took several bows, saying, "Thank you very much." "That's it?" they thought. Yes, that was it. The laugh came not then, but only after they realized I had already moved on to the next bit.

As a child, I always wanted Steve Martin to be funny, but I didn't laugh much, and it puzzled me in a back-of-the-brain way that I never verbalized. Now I know why. He was doing it on purpose.

Comedy is subversive. It can't not be. But subverting the methodology for understanding subversion is the kind of thing that can get you run out of town. Steve Martin's greatest trick might have been remaining viable while he was screwing with people's head all those years.

I don't necessarily want to screw with people (not necessarily). However, this is the kind of independent, anarchic thinking that I strive for. I rarely achieve it on my own; I usually have to be shown. Today, I've been shown.

Social Networth

Heretofore, I have been not much of a joiner of online things. My fear is that once information about me is out in the world, it will never go away and can be manipulated and used against me in a vague, ominous future involving large monitors and stern monochrome faces.

But the techno-hermit life cramps my style. And that's becoming the only alternative to having a whole lot of information available about you on the 'Net. Further, I think it's more valuable to be open than closed in this Web we call 2.0. So I'm in.

I'm still avoiding major players (MySpace, Livejournal, Facebook), on the theory that scammers will target the largest networks for annoying, impersonal attacks. But there's plenty of other companies that would like to use my registered existence as an opportunity to sell ads.

Here's my list. If you're on one of these and want to be my pal, let's get in touch. If you're not a member and need an invite or something, leave me a comment.

Gleemax
GoodReads
LinkedIn
Nextcat
Orkut

Eventually, I'll migrate the more popular ones over to the sidebar.

SugarHoused

I try to avoid posting links to current events when my only comment is "Yeah!" or "Nuh-uh!" I owe it to all of us to have something more substantial to say.

But I'm basically in the "Yeah!" camp on this story about our new mayor revoking the SugarHouse casino license.

The mayor reiterated that he is not a fan of the site for the SugarHouse or the Foxwoods casinos. In the case of SugarHouse, he said, concerns about traffic, parking, congestion and more were "brushed to the side" by the Street administration in a process that he characterized as improper. "It was an abuse of a discretion," Nutter said.

Mayor Nutter has not only 135 square miles of genuine problems to manage, but the mile-high, and perhaps unreasonable, hopes of tens of thousands of Philadelphians that he can be the fulcrum for change in this city. He might not achieve everything we hope for him to.

But if he accomplishes little else, I will remember this moment fondly: when Mayor Nutter neatly and plainly overturned the decision of the prior corrupt administration, frustrating a backroom deal that benefits rich and thoughtless people at the expense of those who live in their wake turbulence.

He didn't do it on moral grounds; he did it on professionalism grounds. How novel. How refreshing. Yeah.

They're DOGS! And they're playing POKER!

I haven't flogged my ebay auctions here in a while, which is an awful shame, both for you, the discriminating buyer, and more importantly, me, the indiscriminate seller.

For a couple of more days, I'm auctioning a quality framed print of C.M. Coolidge's A Friend in Need, parodied at right.

It's a lovely piece of Americana, selling, right now, for a quite reasonable price. Please click through to see:

Dogs Playing Poker frame print, dog MOSTLY not included


Update: Sold! to a Canadian!

Monsters, Class of 2007

It might seem as though I stopped working on monsters after Grouphug last year. Really, I just went underground. I was making monsters as Xmas gifts, and some of the intended recipients read this blog, and I didn't want to spoil the surprise.

With Groundhog Day fast approaching, and monsters sent only barely late, the surprise achieved its Best Before date. Thus, pictures.

(l to r) They are [unnamed], Gumption, and ZOMG.

[unnamed]: I sort of forgot to name the guy on the far left, so his new owner, Stan!, has the joy and burden to name him properly. What you can't see very well on [unnamed] is his red tail that matches his red head spikes and red tongue. He's also got three other head spikes that you kind of lose in the Christmas tree in this photo.

The tongue is cute and it works up close, but I forgot one of my lessons from Ulorg, i.e., when you're going to try something, try big. Next monster with a tongue gets a big ol' freakin' tongue.

Gumption: Turned out well, and I understand is doing wonderfully out of corgi range in the home of Monte and Sue.

I dig the nightvision-green buttons I used for his eyes, but they're a little expensive at retail, and I can't find them online anywhere. I also learned about color working on Gumption. He is named truly.

ZOMG: Again, hard to see in the photo, but ZOMG has four legs and a long sticking-up tail. He's probably the friendliest-looking of the trio, and went to Scott.

In addition to quadruped life, ZOMG has the radical difference of TWO buttons on each eye, a black button stacked on top of a white one, if you can even believe. The wide-eyed look contributes to his friendly appearance, I think.


Also, you can see a tag attached to each of them. They say, "Monster by Jeff Quick" and were made by my crafty, crafty, sister-in-law, Alison. Since she took the Handmade Pledge, she got a monster too, but I didn't have it done in time to make the yearbook photo. Here's the after-Christmas phonecam shot:

Might be hard to see here, but Alison's monster has baby blue irises in its gold eyes. One of the color secrets I learned from Gumption is that you can make things more girl-oriented by making them with lighter colors. ALERT THE MEDIA.

The lips were a wild success on this monster. I got good color contrast, and they're awesome-fat so I'm pretty pleased about that.

I forgot to name Alison's monster too. Oops.


I've started a new monster this month, and I have a bunch of pieces cut out for another one that is so experimental, it might be an awful failure. So I guess I'm doing this now.

Between running a nonprofit organization, managing the for-profit freelance aspect of my life, running D&D games, taking on an increasing leadership gig at church, and hanging out with Meredith, I didn't know I had time for a new hobby.

But I guess I do. So the next step is to scrape together money to buy a decent sewing machine, because doing all these by hand takes a freaking long time!

Movies 2007, part 5 of 5

Aladdin
I'm gonna say it. I’m saying it. Disney (not counting Pixar) has not made a great animated movie since this one. There, I said it. The Lion King sucks and has always sucked, in its myriad forms. This movie, on the other hand, is good.

My Name Is Earl, season 1
This is great! Looking forward to season 2 on DVD whenever they get around to that happening.

Pride and Prejudice
The Kiera Knightley version. Watched bits of it when family was hanging around the house watching it.

Wonderfalls
Uneven. Unlikeable protagonist. Not terrible though.

Gilmore Girls, season 3
Still liking GG.

This is Spinal Tap
We watched this because someone used the term “this goes to 11” in a conversation, and afterward, half the group admitted to never having seen Spinal Tap, despite 100% of the group knowing the pop culture reference. I wanted to see the movie again, and I wanted to show it to M.

Elf
Somebody in the group that I watched this movie with called Elf a classic, and it turns out it’s not. Bob Newheart is neat in this movie. Didn’t expect him, happy to see him every second he was on screen. Will Ferrell is not as annoying as I expected him to be. But the cloying love story and the overused running jokes and stock supporting characters... they used to be classics. Now they’re cliches.

A Beautiful Mind
Okay.

FLCL
This is the fourth or fifth time I’ve watched this all the way through, and I think I’m starting to get it. This thing rocks.

How the Grinch Stole Christmas
With a big sled, improbable machinery, and enough make-up for me not to have to think about Jim Carey in the lead role.

Movies 2007, part 4 of 5

Adaptation
Heh. Jokes within jokes. I woke M up later that night to explain to her my theories about this movie. And, this, friends, is why she’s a keeper: Because she actually listened to me before going back to sleep.

Six-String Samurai
Four strings for style, two for substance.

Yi Yi
A Chinese film about people living life. It was quite good.

Ong-Bak
A Thai film about a dude kicking other dudes in awesome ways. It was quite good for different reasons.

The Shipping News
Bleah. I liked the book, whereas the movie was not just a different story, but an inferior one. A weak movie on its own.

The Atomic Brain (MST3K)
You know how this goes.

Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit
I can see now why this didn’t do well at the box office. It has all the elements of a Wallace & Gromit story you might like, but it’s... boringer somehow.

Ringers, Lord of the Fans
A limp, yay-rah documentary that leaves too many stones unturned. Not as wide-ranging, insightful, or heartening as Trekkies, not as actually informative as a straight info-dump Discovery Channel doc. LotR just doesn't (yet) inspire the same mania that similar sci-fi/fantasy franchises do. It's deep, but not loud. The people in Jedi robes talking about it on camera indicate its place as part of a constellation, not as its own star. Which is a shame, because it's awful bright. They just didn't talk to the right people to do the subject matter justice, I suspect.

The Unearthly (MST3K)
MST3K movies are funner to watch in groups. I watched this one alone, but then I discovered that reading the Internet at the same time is a good semi-tasking substitute.

Night at the Museum
For some reason, I didn’t know this was a children’s movie, and dumber than it needed to be. Ricky Gervais was great as the guy Ricky Gervais always plays. Owen Wilson played the character Owen Wilson always plays well. Ben Stiller... I just keep rooting for Ben Stiller, but he keeps playing the character he always plays. I want better for him.

Movies 2007, part 3 of 5

The Bourne Ultimatum
Somebody buy these people a tripod please! Ha ha! Kidding! (not kidding). A pretty ok movie, except that Julia Stiles didn’t have much to do, and the ending was like, “Didn’t we already see this?” How many times must a man have his shocking past brutally revealed to him before he maybe writes it down on a sticky note or something?

Marie Antoinette (2006)
I slept through part of this. Through most of it. I think I liked it though.

Flag Wars
Supposedly a documentary about gentrification, but it followed its subjects jaggedly, and things looked kind of sad for the gay gentrifiers by the end. They made themselves look bad. But the documentary didn’t really come to a head, and make a strong point like you’d like it to.

Extras, season 1
Ricky Gervais only has the one character, but it’s a good character! These six episodes were uneven, especially for American viewers who may not get all the cultural references – and I include myself among them – but the good parts were great. The Ben Stiller episode was funnier than entire movies Stiller’s starred in.

Steamboy
Technology is dangerous, you say? Children will save us? War is bad? MUST BE ANIME.

Sports Night
Aaron Sorkin’s first big foray into network television had glaring errors. The lines were precocious more than witty, and the actors didn’t deliver them like they meant them. And the “moral” of an episode was sometimes delivered as smoothly as He-Man passing out safety tips. I watched about a dozen episodes of season 1, and called it done.

Sidehackers (MST3K)
Another time when Joel and the ‘bots couldn’t heckle a terrible movie into something worth watching.

MST3K Shorts, vol 2
Funny.

Stardust
What a wonderful movie. Kept a lot of characters moving and vital, and had many fun ideas sprinkled throughout. Different than the comic, and you know what, that’s just fine.

Fantastic Four
Fantastically dumb. ("His organs are solid!")