Bike To Work Week

What with it being bike to work week, I thought I'd try riding a bike to work this week. This is of course, a hilarious lie. It just so happens that I had no idea it was bike to work week until yesterday, and also, I'm freelancing right now, so my commute is 15 feet down a hallway.

But I do have a semi-volunteer teaching gig about a mile from our house, gas is $3 a gallon, and my newly minted wife has a bike she doesn't use. So today, I biked.

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I excoriate bikers who disobey laws on their bikes. I hate hearing bikers bitch about how little respect they get on the road from car drivers, then watching them blithely run stop signs, ride on the sidewalk, and weave through traffic.

After all, hypocrisy is one of the last sins we can comfortable judge people on in our country. Even "intolerance" has fallen out of vogue, and everyone seemed to be able to get behind that one. What, are we not going to judge people any more? Ha ha! Of course not!

But we're also not going to stick our necks out and actually call anybody on it. So let's angrily lecture our friends in the car when bikers act like hypocrites! Is everybody with me? YEAH!

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Bearing this in mind, I resolve to stand still and minimize whimpering when everyone throws rocks at me for the ridiculous things I did on a two mile round trip bike ride today. Highlights:

1. Never signaled. Not even once.
2. Took the "stop" out of "rolling stop."
3. Rode on the sidewalk when the road looked dicey.
4. Cut diagonally across a busy intersection to turn left (also see #1 for extra danger).
5. Did not watch the road when something more interesting was going on.

That's just day ONE! Tomorrow I plan to ride between lanes at a stop light and give drivers the finger when they honk at me. I think I get a sticker for that.